My name is shahenda. (who tried to be anything but failed..except for books) so I became an avid reader, content creator, Ameuter Indie writer and founder of @BooksRWorthIt which is a non-profit online platform for reading. This is my first blog ever. I just love to read and give reviews about the books I read in a creative poetic way. Please leave your comment and support my work. P.s:I don't own any original pics in here.

Welcome bookaholicssss

  Hello there, I am Shahenda. I am an amateur writer, content creator, dentist and founder of @BooksRWorthIt, which is a non-profit account...

Friday, October 12, 2018

Going to love you, unconditionally.
Only you will break me, fully.
No one could or thought it might be me.
Eager to cope or adapt to their reality.

Game is on, step up, lover.
I'm not a player, I'm the one who gathers.
Reigns in hand, precautions for any other.
Low death traps, I know you like a mother. 

Long blond hair, much to die for.
Only one woman, who got me to shore.
Soon enough I saw her close the door.
Too big of a smile.Is it good? I wasn't sure.

Boy, it's hard to live like a man.
Or play a game with a devil without a plan.
Yet I am gonna play as long as I can.

 Born as a male but live like a man

Here I am reviewing a new book or rather describing a life journey and this book (  I mean Journey)  is something else.

Something weird, anticipating, heartbreaking, raging and admirable.

Something feminine. 
Let me tell you about my Journey in points.

  1. you can't know it's fire without seeing the ash.

You can't make people do something awful. But you can persuade them that the only way out is by making a much more awful thing.
And she's a genius in persuasion. 
She amazes people, compels them, makes them want to be with her. 


Then she studies them, analysis their brains. Know their weakness.
They become her homework. And she's the perfect student.


       2. The brain is a powerful weapon, so is love.
But how much power you can get from a romantic love and a wicked brain mixed together. 

       3. People's perspectives are always tricky, especially if it was a woman.
Cause women tend to be sensitive to feel and interact, persuading as well. 
They act upon their emotions and that's dangerous. .. frighteningly dangerous.

      4. Manipulative woman with so many different personalities and a complete utter control over her emotions = The devil himself.

      5. I used to think that anger makes you stupid. It makes you do the dumbest actions ever.
Well, not any more.
Cause anger makes you powerful. It gives you motive. A dark venous one to destroy and conquer. It opens up a door for an idea, a virus spread without stopping.

Now when you mix anger with persistence with hurt with a will stronger than titanium you get 



Cause Amy always wins.
She's manipulative.
She's a con artist
She has a thousand years patience.
She never forgets nor forgives.

But most of all...she found the perfect victim.

What makes you the perfect victim?

**Just being a good decent man.

And, what made Amy a so powerful woman?
A)Her patience.
B)Her interface
C)her wicked mind 
D) her ugly monstrous soul
E) All of the above.
F) None of the above.

I know you will choose E, but I am sorry to tell you it's F.

You may be patient, evil, intelligent and ugly from the inside but without the right control, you won't succeed. 

The thing here is not how she did it, but how she was able to get away with it.
By control...emotional stability. 
Amy had the ability to control, keep and preserve a certain feeling for long periods of time. She spent 12 months planning. 

These type of actions require a huge amount of motivation.
Like when you are so hungry you are pushed and motivated to cook for yourself.
When you feel sad about your grades, you are pushed and motivated to study more.

You may be a genius to make the perfect plan. But you have to be in control to make it achievable

Motivations need feelings to trigger them.
But feelings don't stick long. With Amy they did.

So, I am sorry for being a little Harsh๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. But I am not just reading books I am experiencing a life Journey and this one was..... don't know, I will let you decide. 

Huge thanks for Gillian Flinn for making such a masterpiece. 
Huge thanks for anyone who might by complete coincidence read my review and think that I write ok.๐Ÿ˜

May all our days spent in books.

You may stay connected with me via:


New feature:
Cause books aren't just about boring words and unlimited letters, I added a SoundCloud account, so you can hear all the songs I listen to while reading and share the addiction with me. READING IS LIFE.

Sunday, September 30, 2018

I read a book called " into the water" and this isn't a book review. It's me after reading the novel.

I believe that human beings are the most affected creatures on Earth, that's what we do the most.
We affect and get affected.
We do damage and get damaged in return.
And this is me after reading "into the water" by Paula Hawkins. 

  • A bad man can do good things.
      A good man can do  bad things.
 So, how can you really define who is a.        good man any more?
 Is it by how many bad things he did? How many good things? 

  Or is it about the end game only?  Like if the last thing you did on earth was good, that makes you a good person?

  • Can you forgive??
      I believe that to forgive, you have to     forget. You won't be able to forgive who hurt you until you forget the pain and you wont be able to forget the pain with a raging fire still burn up i side your heart.
I have always wonder if I didn't forgive, that makes me a bad person? A less kind one?
 If I was hurt so bad? Does that give me   a? reason to avenge? 
It seems like the normal thing, making us even..or not?

This book was narrated by 9 different characters. But the good part isn't about the plot. The good part isn't about the mystery thriller story.

It's about the description. Every chapter from every point of view didn't state the events as they are. The stated much bigger than that. They stated the feelings. And that makes me ask myself a question? 

What if what feels so right ends up so wrong? What if our good intentions and beliefs end up to be a catastrophic act? Can we blame ourselves for doing what feels right? Even if it's not?

Here are our narrators๐Ÿ˜

Joy, A word never felt in months.
Only despair bigger as France.
Secrets can make damage as guns.
How to spell them, when all lost at once.

Joy isn't what I felt in here.
U think sisters are close, but so can fear.
Love used to be, all I can feel. 
Eager to run, but her death was near.
She saw me hurt but never shed a tear

Longing for a hug, I would never get.
Outside this world, her soul went.
Utter sadness slowly bent,
It's dark fingers around a heart that's dead.
Sorry,my daughter,I failed you in the end. 
Earned my life, and for you, I am gonna send.

Long lost dead Mother.
Earned a death, like no other.
Needless to say, her death was another.
Arow in my heart, thick as leather.

Passion was why I did my sin.
Anger was just a catalyst back then.
TaKen back to that day, I grin.
Reading her eyes,she was valuable as a pin
Its a shame, she ended like a rubbish bin.
Can't bring her back, to deny the sin
Knowing her death, the worse will begin

She left me alone, sad forever
Earned love, why did U leave off,Mother?
And here I am, A good man who gathers,
Now the truth and no other.

Have I done something wrong?
Egoness is what I have seen for so long.
Left me for another woman to belong.
Easy, husband. I knew all along.
Never been a chump, I am always a King Kong. 

Mad in love with just a child
Am I darkness or am I light?
Run like a monster at midnight. 
Kneeling in front of her death's sight.

Quick tip: check the first letter of every first word. From top to bottom๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜‰

Pic via Unsplash 

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New feature:
Cause books aren't just about boring words and unlimited letters, I added a SoundCloud account, so you can hear all the songs I listen to while reading and share the addiction with me. READING IS LIFE.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

We can't control our emotions, we can't stop them from flowing into our hearts. We can't measure, describe, show or even draw them. They just creep into us slowly. Years of living without figuring out what triggers them. What makes them resurface? What makes you sad and feel awful out of nowhere? Without even knowing the cause.

Is that a memory? A smell? An act? 
Who makes emotions?
My brain? Me? Or those who affect us so much that we can't figure the differences any more?

I just read about a rape. No graphic description, no tragedic words...nothing. just a couple of lines saying it with just a realistic way that you can easily turn the page without knowing.

But still, I can't describe my feelings right now.

Is it sadness?
Is it fear?
Is it.......I can't even know what to write. What am I feeling right now?? 
I don't know.
And that's the problem. This is why we spend 2/3 of our lives sad, incoherent, failing miserably to control how we feel.

What am I feeling right now?

I close my eyes and look at her, my feeling. I need to know her to figure who she is and what's really going on. To know why does she keep coming and going without anything? Anything to alert me of her arrival, of why.

Me: who are you?
My feeling: A reflection.
Me: of me?
My feeling: No.
Me: of whom then?
My feeling: it's not a whom, it's a what?
Me: then, what is the thing that you are a reflection of?
My feeling: Everything.
Me: If you are a reflection of everything why do you come at specific times.
My feeling: I am everywhere here with you, every day of your life. Sometimes you hear my voice laughing, Or see me crying, falling in love, feeling desperate, or scared to death. You Never saw me, you always hear my voice. 


we can't control our feelings.
BUT we sure as hell can control the amount of time we spend feeling this specific one.

You can't stop thinking about your cheater boyfriend but you can control the time you spend in this relationship 
You can't stop fearing your finals but you can start studying now.
You can't stop Crying over the death of a friend, but you can start doing what he loved most. You can start making his dream come true as if he's pretty much alive. 

You can't stop feeling awful after reading about a rape. But you can write and slowly you will feel less awful.

Don't dam your emotions out, feel them, know them, accept them, cope with them and finally get over them.

Pic by Christian Newman

You may stay connected with me via:


New feature:
Cause books aren't just about boring words and unlimited letters, I added a SoundCloud account, so you can hear all the songs I listen to while reading and share the addiction with me. READING IS LIFE.

Monday, September 17, 2018

The letters sprinkled in front of me.
One after one sat me free.

Always thought, he's gonna be.
Love of my life, long-lasting glee.
Lara Jean, short Asian kid.

The one who loves, the baby who sheds.
Huge amounts of ugly tears.
Each day, she fell more and more.

Boy after boy, she loves for sure.
Old mama's box is her well and core.
Yet, it ain't enough, to close the door.
So all the letters got out of hand.

It has to be a secret, she can't understand.

Has he known? I can't stand.
A  forbidden love, I know, I am damned.
Valued enough, he was a former lover.
Enough of this shit, she can't lose a brother.

Lying is the only way she would gather.
Old secrets again, away forever.
Very large ego, but larger eyes.
Emerald beauty sharper than knives.
Daring you to play his game of dice.

But a lie could bring a playboyto his knees.
Eager to make a show, An Ex to tease.
For a just a lie, it ends with no ease.
Or a short Asian is funnier than most.
Ruling the kitchen and I am lost.
Echo of love, through me, crossed.

I know, I know. My reviews are weird, but who says I am the wise one either๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜‰


Hope you like it๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

To all the boys I've loved before by Jenny Han

You may stay connected with me via:


New feature:
Cause books aren't just about boring words and unlimited letters, I added a SoundCloud account, so you can hear all the songs I listen to while reading and share the addiction with me. READING IS LIFE.

Monday, September 10, 2018

1, 2, 3 breath in
Can you see her now? Did you see her, then?
4,5,6 breath out.
You have to believe me. She isn't saved nor sound.
Repeat it once, twice, three and four times.
She's gone away, with no Goodbyes.

I need your help. I need you to see.
Maybe you are next, maybe me.
The water is corrupted, the water is stained
With a Floyd t-shirt, a pinky shade.

My brain was a selfish, lying bastard.
He played me up, A game he mastered.
He made me believe what's not true.
A woman in a cabin, you see her, don't you?

Your eyes and heart are two different things 
I feel her death, I need no lens.
Won't stop digging, crossing every line.
The woman in the cabin next to mine.
The woman in cabin 10.

The woman in cabin 10 a debut thriller novel by Ruth ware.

I always write my reviews as poems. I love the way the words get sneaky, make you think the book is something while it's a totally different thing.

With every book, I read. I become a different person with new aims and possibilities.

This is not a book review...this is me after reading " the woman in cabin 10 "

  • Our brains are indeed bastards, an amazingly powerful and smart one. They don't care about the truth or what's really there. They just want to get it over with.

It's all about connections. From the first blink of an eye to its last one. All the brain does is connecting, connecting all pieces of information to make a chain of events, opinions, conclusions and personalities. These connections are us in every way possible.

An Apple.

The word apple you just read has no taste, no sound, no shape, no colour and no painful nor blissful experiences. So, why did you see the colour red or green or yellow when you read it? It's just a word. Why those specific colours only? Why did you feel abrupt sadness and anger?

 It has nothing to do with a typed word, right? 

 No, the word apple is connected to a pic you saw before. A pic of a red apple lies in your memory, waiting for the perfect trigger to resurface. It also connected to the last time you ate it which was like 7 days ago. The same day you dropped out or broke up with your partner. 

All of these are considered separate pieces of information until the perfect trigger.

But that's not the sneaky part.....

your brain wants to create these connections that sometimes it just mess up.
 Like a puzzle, your brain connects every little piece with each other according to its shape and colour. Sometimes it connects the pieces according to shape only, forming a totally different picture.

But that's also not the sneaky part.

The sneaky part is your brain will figure out a way to make it believable.

It makes you believe that the different pic is the, in fact, the original one. The mismatched pieces are totally matching and perfectly forming a masterpiece.

And you believe it.

Like, Who can doubt his own brain?

 who we are actually to say otherwise. To doubt our own brains. In the end, our brain. Our conscious is who we are. If we start to doubt it. Then we start to doubt our own existence. And if we do so, then we gonna doubt EVERYTHING.

So how can we get out of this loop?

I know I sound overrated. You are right. I am a crazy book geek. I know you are scared, but tell me. Have you ever been so sure of something and discovered that you were wrong about it?

Have you ever broken up with someone, ended a marriage, a friendship for the wrong reasons that once were so right?

Have you ever asked yourself why you always suck at your own problems while acting like a damn social worker with other's problems?

It's all about the way you see the events. The way your brain connects the dots.

At least that's what happened to LO. That's what I started to believe after reading the woman in cabin 10.


All pics via unsplash. Have no copyrights on them.

You may stay connected with me via:


New feature:
Cause books aren't just about boring words and unlimited letters, I added a SoundCloud account, so you can hear all the songs I listen to while reading and share the addiction with me. READING IS LIFE.