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Saturday, October 20, 2018

All the little lights

October 20, 2018 A little poetic touch , book review 12 Comments

Flash in my eyes, forcing me to       
smile.
 Heaviness in my heart lasts for over a 
 mile.
Got nothing in here but a long useless
 pile.
Of damaged souls, all together in one body. 
Mine.



No, not mine, but it always felt this 
way.
keeping a secret, it's ugliness made me stay.
Wanna run away with him, through a light ray.
How much more darkness can I keep at bay?

But here it comes, the hard equation.
How can I solve it, when love is the relation.
His lovely face could sacrifice what no nation,
Could sacrifice for millions, not just me. A patient.



A patient with emotional abuse.


Hello again everyone, hope you liked my poem. Sorry, for making it so cryptic. Com'on guys don't look at me that way. I know you loved it😂😎, the harder it looks...the easier for you to get the true meaning of the book.

Cause books are Journeys and here's mine...


This is my review on " All the little lights " by Jamie Mcguire.


Or I would rather say, Journey. An emotional one.

- It's so hard to not know what to do. You spend your days trying to be good and happy.

But that's the sneaky part. You can't be good and happy at the same time.


" You keep asking your self. Why? Why you have to suffer. Why can't you be happy and at the same time do the right thing? " 

Guess life is one hell of an equation and I am terrible at Maths.


The book is filled with ups and downs, a lot of ups actually. This sweet love story. It was so sweet that sometimes it didn't even seem true. But love here wasn't the problem or I would rather say Catherine's and Elliot's love wasn't the issue.


Love as it should be. From All the little lights book by Jamie Mcguire


  - Let me ask you something.

Have you ever felt angry towards someone (I bet you have)? What if that one is a beloved one? Like a friend, best friend, boyfriend, a family member.
A mother.


You are so angry and frustrated at that person (let's call him A), you kinda hate A for his actions,  but at the same time, you love him. You can't imagine a life without him, you start to think that your responsibility to make things right. To make A right.


But A never changes. In fact, A knows quite well how much anger and despaired you feel. A knows how much you love him, so he keeps doing what he does. And you keep feeling Angry.
Then bad at yourself for being angry.
Then despaired.

That's called abuse.
Emotional abuse.

" Those people are raping you of your own right to feel angry, to make a change, to get over them. "

 They are abusing you and they know damn well, that you love them.
So, you won't move on.
You won't leave them.


Cause if you did you will look like the devil who has been overrating and angry for nothing.
And they will be the perfect victim.


That's not all about the book.
The book is filled with love and sweetness, it might melt you.




But this is what really got me, what made this book worth reading.

Ooh, and the ending will be quite a surprise😎😉.

Thank you for reading, I know this is not your typical book review, but I am not a typical girl either.

Until the next book,




By Shahenda Mahmoud at 12 comments:
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Friday, October 12, 2018

Review on " Gone girl " by Gillinn Flinn

October 12, 2018 A little poetic touch , book review 18 Comments
Going to love you, unconditionally.
Only you will break me, fully.
No one could or thought it might be me.
Eager to cope or adapt to their reality.

Game is on, step up, lover.
I'm not a player, I'm the one who gathers.
Reigns in hand, precautions for any other.
Low death traps, I know you like a mother. 



Long blond hair, much to die for.
Only one woman, who got me to shore.
Soon enough I saw her close the door.
Too big of a smile.Is it good? I wasn't sure.

Boy, it's hard to live like a man.
Or play a game with a devil without a plan.
Yet I am gonna play as long as I can.


 Born as a male but live like a man




Here I am reviewing a new book or rather describing a life journey and this book (  I mean Journey)  is something else.

Something weird, anticipating, heartbreaking, raging and admirable.

Something feminine. 
Let me tell you about my Journey in points.




  1. you can't know it's fire without seeing the ash.

You can't make people do something awful. But you can persuade them that the only way out is by making a much more awful thing.
And she's a genius in persuasion. 
She amazes people, compels them, makes them want to be with her. 



MEN WANT HER AND WOMEN WANT TO BE HER


Then she studies them, analysis their brains. Know their weakness.
They become her homework. And she's the perfect student.

 SHE WROTE THEIR FATE FOR THEM, BUT THEY  DUMBFOUNDLY CHOSE TO LIVE IT, ANYWAY. 



       2. The brain is a powerful weapon, so is love.
But how much power you can get from a romantic love and a wicked brain mixed together. 

       3. People's perspectives are always tricky, especially if it was a woman.
Cause women tend to be sensitive to feel and interact, persuading as well. 
They act upon their emotions and that's dangerous. .. frighteningly dangerous.




      4. Manipulative woman with so many different personalities and a complete utter control over her emotions = The devil himself.




      5. I used to think that anger makes you stupid. It makes you do the dumbest actions ever.
Well, not any more.
Cause anger makes you powerful. It gives you motive. A dark venous one to destroy and conquer. It opens up a door for an idea, a virus spread without stopping.

Now when you mix anger with persistence with hurt with a will stronger than titanium you get 

                    Amy.




 WELL DONE, B****. THE DEVIL IS SO PROUD


Cause Amy always wins.
She's manipulative.
She's a con artist
She has a thousand years patience.
She never forgets nor forgives.

But most of all...she found the perfect victim.



What makes you the perfect victim?

**Just being a good decent man.



And, what made Amy a so powerful woman?
A)Her patience.
B)Her interface
C)her wicked mind 
D) her ugly monstrous soul
E) All of the above.
F) None of the above.

I know you will choose E, but I am sorry to tell you it's F.



You may be patient, evil, intelligent and ugly from the inside but without the right control, you won't succeed. 



The thing here is not how she did it, but how she was able to get away with it.
By control...emotional stability. 
Amy had the ability to control, keep and preserve a certain feeling for long periods of time. She spent 12 months planning. 



These type of actions require a huge amount of motivation.
Like when you are so hungry you are pushed and motivated to cook for yourself.
When you feel sad about your grades, you are pushed and motivated to study more.

You may be a genius to make the perfect plan. But you have to be in control to make it achievable



Motivations need feelings to trigger them.
But feelings don't stick long. With Amy they did.


Just finishing one of the most Compelling, weird and extremely amazing books


So, I am sorry for being a little Harsh😂😂. But I am not just reading books I am experiencing a life Journey and this one was..... don't know, I will let you decide. 

Huge thanks for Gillian Flinn for making such a masterpiece. 
Huge thanks for anyone who might by complete coincidence read my review and think that I write ok.😍


This is my Review of the Month for the review collection on LovelyAudiobooks.info


By Shahenda Mahmoud at 18 comments:
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Sunday, September 30, 2018

Review on " into the water " by Paula Hawkins

September 30, 2018 A little poetic touch , book review 16 Comments
I read a book called " into the water" and this isn't a book review. It's me after reading the novel.

I believe that human beings are the most affected creatures on Earth, that's what we do the most.
We affect and get affected.
We do damage and get damaged in return.
And this is me after reading "into the water" by Paula Hawkins. 



  • A bad man can do good things.
      A good man can do  bad things.
 So, how can you really define who is a.        good man any more?
 Is it by how many bad things he did? How many good things? 




  Or is it about the end game only?  Like if the last thing you did on earth was good, that makes you a good person?



  • Can you forgive??
      I believe that to forgive, you have to     forget. You won't be able to forgive who hurt you until you forget the pain and you wont be able to forget the pain with a raging fire still burn up i side your heart.
I have always wonder if I didn't forgive, that makes me a bad person? A less kind one?
 If I was hurt so bad? Does that give me   a? reason to avenge? 
It seems like the normal thing, making us even..or not?


This book was narrated by 9 different characters. But the good part isn't about the plot. The good part isn't about the mystery thriller story.

It's about the description. Every chapter from every point of view didn't state the events as they are. The stated much bigger than that. They stated the feelings. And that makes me ask myself a question? 

What if what feels so right ends up so wrong? What if our good intentions and beliefs end up to be a catastrophic act? Can we blame ourselves for doing what feels right? Even if it's not?

Here are our narrators😍
Josh
Louis
Lena
Jules
Erin
Nikki
Patrick
Mark
Helen
Sean


Joy, A word never felt in months.
Only despair bigger as France.
Secrets can make damage as guns.
How to spell them, when all lost at once.


Joy isn't what I felt in here.
U think sisters are close, but so can fear.
Love used to be, all I can feel. 
Eager to run, but her death was near.
She saw me hurt but never shed a tear


Longing for a hug, I would never get.
Outside this world, her soul went.
Utter sadness slowly bent,
It's dark fingers around a heart that's dead.
Sorry,my daughter,I failed you in the end. 
Earned my life, and for you, I am gonna send.





Long lost dead Mother.
Earned a death, like no other.
Needless to say, her death was another.
Arow in my heart, thick as leather.


Passion was why I did my sin.
Anger was just a catalyst back then.
TaKen back to that day, I grin.
Reading her eyes,she was valuable as a pin
Its a shame, she ended like a rubbish bin.
Can't bring her back, to deny the sin
Knowing her death, the worse will begin


She left me alone, sad forever
Earned love, why did U leave off,Mother?
And here I am, A good man who gathers,
Now the truth and no other.


Have I done something wrong?
Egoness is what I have seen for so long.
Left me for another woman to belong.
Easy, husband. I knew all along.
Never been a chump, I am always a King Kong. 


Mad in love with just a child
Am I darkness or am I light?
Run like a monster at midnight. 
Kneeling in front of her death's sight.


Quick tip: check the first letter of every first word. From top to bottom😎😉


Pic via Unsplash 

By Shahenda Mahmoud at 16 comments:
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Monday, September 17, 2018

To all the boys I have loved before by Jenny Han

September 17, 2018 A little poetic touch , book review 12 Comments
The letters sprinkled in front of me.
One after one sat me free.


Always thought, he's gonna be.
Love of my life, long-lasting glee.
Lara Jean, short Asian kid.

The one who loves, the baby who sheds.
Huge amounts of ugly tears.
Each day, she fell more and more.

Boy after boy, she loves for sure.
Old mama's box is her well and core.
Yet, it ain't enough, to close the door.
So all the letters got out of hand.

It has to be a secret, she can't understand.

Has he known? I can't stand.
A  forbidden love, I know, I am damned.
Valued enough, he was a former lover.
Enough of this shit, she can't lose a brother.


Lying is the only way she would gather.
Old secrets again, away forever.
Very large ego, but larger eyes.
Emerald beauty sharper than knives.
Daring you to play his game of dice.


But a lie could bring a playboyto his knees.
Eager to make a show, An Ex to tease.
For a just a lie, it ends with no ease.
Or a short Asian is funnier than most.
Ruling the kitchen and I am lost.
Echo of love, through me, crossed.






I know, I know. My reviews are weird, but who says I am the wise one either😎😎😉


I AM A GOOFY LUNATIC AND A BOOKGEEK AS HELL😎😎😎😎

Hope you like it😍😍

To all the boys I've loved before by Jenny Han


By Shahenda Mahmoud at 12 comments:
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Monday, September 10, 2018

The woman in cabin 10

September 10, 2018 A little poetic touch , book review 14 Comments
1, 2, 3 breath in
Can you see her now? Did you see her, then?
4,5,6 breath out.
You have to believe me. She isn't saved nor sound.
Repeat it once, twice, three and four times.
She's gone away, with no Goodbyes.



I need your help. I need you to see.
Maybe you are next, maybe me.
The water is corrupted, the water is stained
With a Floyd t-shirt, a pinky shade.



My brain was a selfish, lying bastard.
He played me up, A game he mastered.
He made me believe what's not true.
A woman in a cabin, you see her, don't you?



Your eyes and heart are two different things 
I feel her death, I need no lens.
Won't stop digging, crossing every line.
The woman in the cabin next to mine.
The woman in cabin 10.


The woman in cabin 10 a debut thriller novel by Ruth ware.



I always write my reviews as poems. I love the way the words get sneaky, make you think the book is something while it's a totally different thing.


With every book, I read. I become a different person with new aims and possibilities.


This is not a book review...this is me after reading " the woman in cabin 10 "


  • Our brains are indeed bastards, an amazingly powerful and smart one. They don't care about the truth or what's really there. They just want to get it over with.

It's all about connections. From the first blink of an eye to its last one. All the brain does is connecting, connecting all pieces of information to make a chain of events, opinions, conclusions and personalities. These connections are us in every way possible.



An Apple.


The word apple you just read has no taste, no sound, no shape, no colour and no painful nor blissful experiences. So, why did you see the colour red or green or yellow when you read it? It's just a word. Why those specific colours only? Why did you feel abrupt sadness and anger?



 It has nothing to do with a typed word, right? 



 No, the word apple is connected to a pic you saw before. A pic of a red apple lies in your memory, waiting for the perfect trigger to resurface. It also connected to the last time you ate it which was like 7 days ago. The same day you dropped out or broke up with your partner. 



All of these are considered separate pieces of information until the perfect trigger.

But that's not the sneaky part.....



your brain wants to create these connections that sometimes it just mess up.
 Like a puzzle, your brain connects every little piece with each other according to its shape and colour. Sometimes it connects the pieces according to shape only, forming a totally different picture.


But that's also not the sneaky part.


The sneaky part is your brain will figure out a way to make it believable.

It makes you believe that the different pic is the, in fact, the original one. The mismatched pieces are totally matching and perfectly forming a masterpiece.

And you believe it.

Like, Who can doubt his own brain?


 who we are actually to say otherwise. To doubt our own brains. In the end, our brain. Our conscious is who we are. If we start to doubt it. Then we start to doubt our own existence. And if we do so, then we gonna doubt EVERYTHING.


So how can we get out of this loop?



I know I sound overrated. You are right. I am a crazy book geek. I know you are scared, but tell me. Have you ever been so sure of something and discovered that you were wrong about it?


Have you ever broken up with someone, ended a marriage, a friendship for the wrong reasons that once were so right?


Have you ever asked yourself why you always suck at your own problems while acting like a damn social worker with other's problems?


It's all about the way you see the events. The way your brain connects the dots.

At least that's what happened to LO. That's what I started to believe after reading the woman in cabin 10.

Thanks,


All pics via unsplash.
By Shahenda Mahmoud at 14 comments:
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Thursday, September 6, 2018

It's kind of a funny story

September 06, 2018 book review , 16 Comments

When I bought this book it wasn't intentional, just saw it's movie trailer and found it online at an acceptable price so, why not? It's about depression and suicide and I loved those categories. I love when books talk and dig into emotional issues. I got the book and Guess what? ??



I discovered that the author of the book Ned Vizzini committed suicide back in 2013
He had severe depression.
It's like he screamed his agony through the book. I haven't read it yet. But I think it's not just a book. It's the thoughts, feelings and pain of a man tried so hard to win his war but failed.
Maybe this book will make a difference. Maybe people will stop committing suicide. Maybe not. But by reading this book you are helping Ned and all those who quit and Giving hope for those who still fight against depression.

WE GONNA KILL THIS MONSTER
You fought hard. You deserve life but life didn't deserve you. RIP, Ned Vizzini



By Shahenda Mahmoud at 16 comments:
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Saturday, September 1, 2018

The Subtle art of not giving a fuck

September 01, 2018 A little poetic touch , book review 25 Comments

Mom!, look A panda at the door
Knocking hard, angry for sure.
She looks cute and lovely as well.
Her eyes are pearls of disappointment as hell.

"I thought you would be smarter," the panda said.
How could you try, how could you pretend?
You change and change and changing again.
Escaping the truth, failing all the same.


Trying to forget the pain and fear.
Missing the lesson, watching unclear
Cause pain makes us humans and it
Makes us stronger, he's your only friend.



Walking like a hero, Shoulders high.
Not giving a fuck or even try.
Thinking life is like your poor girlfriend.
Ignore her all you want, she waits for you until the end.


But life isn't as dumb or as easy
Slap you hard for being sneaky
Or thinking once that not giving a fuck
Is the easiest way for quick luck.
Without the pain. you ain't much happy.
Cause pain and happiness are BFF, buddy

This life isn't a show or a movie part.
You need to be an artist cause living is an art.
The subtle art of not giving a fuck.





And that was my review on the subtle art of not giving a fuck.
It's pretty easy to say that this book is great or fabulous or amazing.
This book wasn't just a book..it was like a movie. I can hear the author's voice whispering. I can see myself living his life and doing his mistakes. 

This is not a good motivational book. This is a lifetime lesson 
This is Mark answering my questions without even knowing who I am.


I don't believe in amazing books. I believe in the amazing impacts of a good book.

  • You spend your whole life trying to change but the truth is changing isn't gonna fix your problems, it's gonna make it worse. Think of it for a minute. We always try to change for the better. Be more updated and better versions of our own selves. But who told you exactly that the updated version of yourself is better. I truly believe that every change I have become is a fake one. The truth is..... Guess what? ??  Acceptance.  Because we will change from the inside..from the root. We should change the concept that says " being better is to change into the better"  to " being better is to accept, cope and act as ourselves to feel better in our own skin"

  • Everyone has his one values...his own means...his own truth...and his own opinions... it's like a fingerprint no one is alike...so don't try to prove anything.


  • Success is just a word with no meaning or so many meanings that nobody truly knows what is a success any more.

  • Certainty is a myth..even your own eyes can deceive you.



  • You think you will be happy if you avoid pain and problems but you couldn't be any more wrong..you will only get happy after you feel the pain, so before wailing for not being happy, ask your self...How much pain can you endure?



  • I believe that we spend our whole lives trying to achieve our dreams that are based on certain values, it has nothing to do with right or wrong but the way you see those values. You think that you are the one in control that you choose those values. But what you don't know that humans are easily affected creatures and sometimes our values too.



  • The action isn't the effect of motivation, it's also the cause of it. We live in a connected world. Societies are so tightened in a narrow Web. We make an action that affects those around us. It's either induce or inhibit us emotionally,  this emotion is called a motivation. Sometimes we feel less motivated, other times more..so our actions are the cause and result. It was always that way. Motivations Cant control you but actions can.




  • Love is cocaine. We want so bad to be loved. The sole and only purpose of somebody's life. So when it happens. We can't get over the high. We just use it more and more...more love, more cocaine. It's an emotional addiction, sadly no one can love you more than you. Read romantic books all you want...watch millions of romance, but no one can give you love and care more than yourself. And that's the ugly miserable truth. With time the interest lessens a little bit, he doesn't have to a bad guy or a jerk. ( I am not saying he isn't, tho😂😂) but sometimes we want something that isn't available. It's like buying 10 kilos of thin air. That's when the withdrawal symptoms begin. And that's why breakups hurt so much.




  • Freedom's true meaning. I always thought that freedom is like the absolute capability to do whatever you want. The unlimited number of options. But with the unlimited options come the burden of choosing. That's the problem of freedom. Freedom is choosing commitment willingly after taking the whole world on a silver plate.
  • Giving a fuck is like immortality. By giving a fuck about something, you spend time, energy and ideas on it. That thing becomes your legacy, your influence. So death doesn't become the boggy man anymore. Cause even if you died...you are not forgotten. Your ideas, energy and influence are very much alive. You are immortal.



This is not a professional review of the book. This is not quoting either, somethings you may relate it to the book, some things have nothing to do with it. This is me after reading the subtle art of not giving a fuck.



I believe that our sole existence is just a reflection of the environment around us So, that blog post, article whatever you want to name it. Is the reflection of the book on me.





By Shahenda Mahmoud at 25 comments:
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